The Rumbling
Once in a while, a roar is needed; a push is necessary to make space for me. Much continues to unfold for me post-retreat. More of my defenses are up, and today, I sit and write from this place of intense agitation. Let me welcome my snarkiness. With every bit that doesn’t want to write, the soul still pushes against the paper, leaving its mark few pages deep.
Reluctance is here
willfulness demands its way
no, I will not write;
no, I will not feel;
no, I will not inquire;
no, I want nothing to do with anyone
frustration gains energy and momentum
from pout-and-sulk to seethe-and-push
wrestling to be freed
let the world behold my displeasure
be scorched by my gaze
bear my hostility
better outward than inward
I walk down the street
exclaiming f**k-offs in my head to any breathing body
that comes within my two arms’ length
I’m not nice
sooooo not going to play nice
this animal is indiscriminate
had enough of being cast aside
had enough of being held in captivity
you and your feelings
get out of my space
don’t you dare dump any on me
and stop your pretense of grace
enough of your sophisticated attempts
to tame or fix me, or tell me
what I should be feeling
I can’t be soothed
I don’t want to be soothed
don’t f**king hush me
I will not budge.
You!
Get out of my way.
🍯 The Dandelion Notes ~ Writer’s Fund
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Hello & welcome — I am glad you are here. I am Rosslyn Chay, facilitator, healer, poet—each of these, a very human attempt to mend our fractured relationship with our nature and free the truth of who we are from the weight of our history. The Dandelion Notes are field notes on my attempts.